In my work with couples, certain themes emerge that can help us understand how a relationship that was once so close can drift very much apart.
Let's examine a few of the elements that contribute to some couples drifting apart.
Life gets in the way - Somehow, in the hurriedness of everyday life, couples seem to forget about each other. The initial closeness they once felt has been interrupted by work, the bills, children, you name it.
Couples begin to take each other for granted - A close cousin to letting life get in the way, taking each other for granted slowly eats away at any connection a couple might feel.
What makes it worse is that it is so very easy to do. Keeping priorities straight in our stressful lives can be very difficult. We get so caught up in simply getting through the day that we forget about making a life with each other.
Couples stop treating each other well - Somehow we succumb to the notion that all the things we used to do that brought us together are no longer necessary.
It's like the old joke about the couple that has been married for many years when one day the wife says to the husband: "You never tell me you love me anymore!" To which the husband responds "Well, dear, I told you I love you the day we got married and if anything changes I will let you know."
Resentments are held - Old grudges, hurts and resentments are like a cancer in the relationship that eats away at the closeness of the couple.
Communication slows down and stops - This is the most frequent reason given by couples as a factor in the couple drifting apart.
Once a couple stops communicating, it's just a matter of time before couples drift from soul mates to room mates.
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