A Dog's Letter to God
Submitted by Robert B. Warwick
How come people love to smell flowers, but seldom, if ever, smell one
another? What are they thinking?
When we get to Heaven, can we sit on your couch?
Or is it the same old story?
Excuse me, but why are there cars named after the jaguar, the cougar, the
mustang, the colt, the stingray, and the rabbit,
but not one named for a dog? How often do you see a cougar riding around?
dogs love a nice ride! I know every breed cannot have its own model, but
would be easy to rename the Chrysler Eagle the Chrysler Beagle!
If a dog barks his head off in the forest and no
human hears him, is he still a bad dog?
Is it true that in Heaven, dining room tables have onramps?
More meatballs, less spaghetti, please.
When we get to the Pearly Gates, do we have to
shake hands to get in?
We dogs can understand human verbal instructions, hand signals, whistles,
horns, clickers, beepers, scent IDs, electromagnetic energyfields,
and Frisbee flight paths. What do humans understand?
Are there dogs on other planets, or are we alone?
I have been howling at the moon and stars for a long time, but all I ever
hear back is the beagle across the street.
Are there mailmen in Heaven? If there are, will I have to apologize?
When my family eats dinner they always bless their food. But they never
bless mine. So, I've been wagging my tail extra fast when they
fill my bowl. Have you noticed my own blessing?
I've always lived at the shelter and I have everything I need. But many of
the dogs here have names and I don't. Could you give me a name please? It
would be good for my self-esteem.
The new terrier I live with just peed on the Oriental rug and I have a
feeling my family might blame me 'cuz they think I'm jealous of this
dog. Since they have no sense of smell, how can I convince them I'm
innocent? Does PetsMart sell lie detectors?