Seriously, I believe in the divinity of love. I believe that the
string of our life is controlled by some cosmic energy. The same
cosmic energy brings people close to us, and the same energy
makes them go away.
But in the hectic alleys of everyday life (and a couple of
terrorist attacks here and there), who gets the time to think of
divine things when it comes to looking for a relationship? We are
constantly bombarded with work related stress, the inherent
insecurities and suspicions, lack of confidence, fear of
rejection, etc. These negative forces are always stopping us from
opening up to new avenues of romance, love and a lifelong
commitment. In some cultures, this commitment transcends the
boundaries of birth and death.
I also believe that a romantic relationship is like an exotic
plant. You can't just leave it in the wilderness and hope that
the sun and the rain will make it grow. Not at all. You have to
nurture it. At proper times you have to shift it from sun to
shadow and from shadow to sun. You have to water it with careful
quantification. You have to add proper amount of suitable manure
and then occasionally tend to the soil. You have to keep the
roots, the branches, the stem and the leaves free from pests.
Some radical thinkers say you must talk to your plant and sing to
These are the demands of a fruitful, long-lasting relationship,
and it has to come from both the partners.
If you have decided to commit yourself to a meaningful
relationship, you have to take care of a few of the following
1. Be clear about your thoughts. Are you really ready for a
relationship? Take care that such scruples can always hamper your
progress or initiation. Sometimes you have to plunge first and
then ponder whether there is enough water in the pool.
2. Decide what sort of person you are looking for. We must
accept that there are some qualities in people that we really
hate and there are some qualities we really love. Be ruthless.
Make a list of things you want in a person. It sometimes happens
that you discover some unpalatable traits after falling head over
heals in love, and then you have to decide accordingly.
3. Get rid of your fears about how you look. You are what you
are. Concentrate on your qualities. Someone has said it very
well, "If you want someone to love you, deserve it." Although
this world is unfair, old adages hold true most of the times.
4. Don't make your quest for love a matter of life and death. A
romantic relationship is important, but it is not the most
important thing in life. Carry on with your normal life and don't
feel sad about not having someone in life. Sometimes there are
hundreds of things in life that are far more important than a
5. If you take drastic steps, they overshadow your natural
flair, and make you look affected. Be yourself, and believe in
the fact that if a person has to fall in love with you, he/she
has to fall in love with YOU, not with the artificial personality
you are carrying around. Live in the real world and you'll get a
6. Expand your social life. Be a bit more known to other people.
The more people you come across, the more is the chance of
bumping into the "right one". Again, don't go to extra lengths to
be social. Flow with the tide, keep yourself relaxed, but take
care you don't drown or are not swept away.
7. Be helpful and be good - not just for the sake of it. Good
things happen to good people.