Some Southerners are pretty skeptical of horoscopes and the people that read
them. On the other hand, some people believe that they can be extremely insightful, and always consult their horoscopes before making big decisions or even just playing games. For those who are less convinced by traditional star signs, there may be a solution.
If we are to ever fully understand all the star signs and the people
they represent, we need symbols that all true Southerners
OKRA (Dec 22 - Jan 20)
Are tough on the outside but tender on the inside. Okras have tremendous
influence. An older Okra can look back over his life and see the seeds of his
influence everywhere. You can do something good each day if you try.
CHITLIN (Jan 21 - Feb 19)
Chitlins come from humble backgrounds. A Chitlin, however, will make
something of himself if he is motivated and has lots of seasoning. In
dealing with Chitlins, be careful they may surprise you. They can erupt like
Vesuvius. Chitlins are best with Catfish and Okra.
BOLL WEEVIL (Feb 20 - March 20)
You have an overwhelming curiosity. You're unsatisfied with the surface of
things, and you feel the need to bore deep into the interior of everything.
Needless to say, you are very intense and driven as if you had some inner
hunger. You love to stay busy and tend to work too much.
Nobody in their right mind is going to marry you, so don't worry about it.
MOON PIE (March 21 - April 20)
You're the type that spends a lot of time on the front porch. A cinch to
recognize the physical appearance of Moon Pies. Big and round are the key
words here. You should marry anybody who you can get remotely interested
in the idea. It's not going to be easy. You always have a big smile and are
happy. This might be the year to think about aerobics. Maybe not.
POSSUM (April 21 - May 21)
When confronted with life's difficulties, possums have a marked tendency to
withdraw and develop a don't-bother-me-about-it attitude. Sometimes you
become so withdrawn, people actually think you're dead. This strategy is
probably not psychologically healthy but seems to work for you. You are a
rare breed. Most folks love to watch you work and play. You are a night person
and mind your own business.
CRAWFISH (May 22 - June 21)
Crawfish is a water sign. If you work in an office, you're hanging around the
water cooler. Crawfish prefer the beach to the mountains, the pool to the
golf course, and the bathtub to the living room. You tend not to be
particularly attractive physically, but you have very, very good heads.
COLLARDS (June 22 - July 23)
Collards have a genius for communication. They love to get in "the melting
pot" of life and share their essence with the essence of those around them.
Collards make good social workers, psychologists, and baseball managers. As
far as your personal life goes, if you are Collards, stay
away from Crawfish. It just won't work. Save yourself
a lot of heartache.
CATFISH (July 24 - Aug 23)
Catfish are traditionalists in matters of the heart, although one's whiskers
may cause problems for loved ones. You Catfish are never easy people to
understand. You run fast. You work and play hard. Even though you prefer the
muddy bottoms to the clear surface of life, you are liked
by most. Above all else, Catfish should stay away from Moon Pies.
GRITS (Aug 24 - Sept 23)
Your highest aim is to be with others like yourself. You like to huddle
together with a big crowd of other Grits. You love to travel though, so maybe
you should think about joining a club. Where do you like to go? Anywhere they
have cheese, gravy, bacon, butter, or eggs and a good time.
If you can go somewhere where they have all these things, that serves you
well. You are pure in heart.
BOILED PEANUTS (Sept 24 - Oct 23)
You have a passionate desire to help your fellow man. Unfortunately, those
who know you best, your friends and loved ones, may find that your
personality is much too salty, and their criticism will affect you deeply
because you are really much softer than you appear. You should go right ahead
and marry anybody you want to because in a certain way, yours is a charmed
life. On the road of life, you can be sure that people will always pull over
and stop for you.
BUTTER BEAN (Oct 24 - Nov 22)
Always invite a Butter Bean to a party because Butter Beans get along well
with everybody. You, as a Butter Bean, should be proud. You've grown on the
vine of life, and you feel at home no matter what the setting. You can
sit next to anybody. However, you, too, shouldn't have anything to do with
Moon Pies...and Never take YES for an answer.
ARMADILLO (Nov 23 - Dec 21)
You have a tendency to develop a tough exterior, but you are actually quite
gentle and kind inside. A good evening for you? Old friends, a fire, some
roots, fruit, worms, and insects. You are a throwback. You're not concerned
with today's fashions and trends. You're not concerned with anything about
today. You're almost prehistoric in your interests and behavior patterns. You
probably want to marry another Armadillo, but a Possum is another somewhat
kinky mating possibility.