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The Retired Mind
I was thinking about how a status symbol of today is those cell phones that everyone has clipped on. I can't afford one. So, I'm wearing my garage door opener.
You know, I spent a fortune on deodorant ~ before I realized that people didn't like me anyway.
I was thinking about old age and decided that it is when you still have
something on the ball. But, you are just too tired to bounce it.
I thought about making a fitness movie for folks my age and calling it
"Pumping Rust".
I have gotten that dreaded furniture disease. That's when your chest is
falling into your drawers!
I know, when people see a cat's litter box, they always say, "Oh, have you
got a cat?" Just once I want to say, "No, it's for company!"
Employment application blanks always ask 'who is to be notified in case of an
emergency.' I think you should write, "A Good Doctor!"
Why do they put pictures of criminals up in the Post Office? What are we
supposed to do -- write to these men? Why don't they just put their pictures on
the postage stamps so the mailmen could look for them while they deliver the
mail? Or better yet, arrest them while they are taking their pictures!
I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as
they get older. Then, it dawned on me, they were cramming for their finals.
  
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